


Singularity (Part 1)

by QuietDarkness



Series: Simplicity and Complexity (Harrisco) [56]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 13:19:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16535312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietDarkness/pseuds/QuietDarkness
Summary: Cisco is lying comatose, and the team rallies around him. New truths are brought to the surface, and Harry is forced to reconcile things he can't understand or control in order to save the man he loves.There is no way to know what lies ahead. Who will win and who will lose. But one thing is for certain, the real fight has barely begun...'Opposites don't just attract. They catch fire and burn the entire city down.'(Part 55)





	Singularity (Part 1)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! I'm so sorry it took so long to post this update. Life has been... well, crazier than the multiverse around here. My husband was deployed, my beautiful cat of 18 years passed away, my mother had a stroke. And more. Basically... bad luck all around. But things are settling down now. And I promise to update more frequently! Enjoy this installment and pretty pretty pretty please tell me what you think! All my love! -QD

_'If I could turn back the clock, I'd make sure the light defeated the dark. I'd spend every hour of every day keeping you safe. I'd climb every mountain, I'd swim every ocean, just to be with you and fix what I've broken. Because I need you to see that you are the reason...'_

* * *

“Harry, please just... would you please stay put for a minute?” Caitlin begged, reaching out and grabbing his upper arm as he made what was probably the fiftieth pass in his pacing of the Cortex. He stopped, but he glared at her and she dropped her hand. “I will figure this out. I promise.” Her voice cracked, but there was a determination in it, steel in her eyes, an intensity in her expression that he knew very well. He felt it soften his anger... just a little. And he stepped toward her, putting a hand to the back of her head and pulling her toward him with a sigh that heavily deflated his chest. She didn't fight him. She just closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his shoulder, wrapped her arms around him and let him hold her.

These moments between him and Snow were rare. Probably because he wasn't used to being so hands-on with people. Jesse, Maggie and Ramon, sure. But other people? That was a little harder. Right now, though, he could feel Caitlin's pain emanating from her. And her fear. Mostly because it mirrored his own. So he held her. And she trembled. And for a few long and solitary moments, they were useless together. 

Or at the very least, he was. 

Because he had complete faith in all of Caitlin's abilities. If there was a medical cause to Cisco's sudden comatose state, she would find it. And she would cure it. 

But what could Harry do besides pace and worry and threaten whatever gods there were to hear him?

Absolutely nothing, that's what. And he hated that. Hated himself. Feeling useless, being useless... it was just not something he was good at.

He felt hands behind him, then. Small, but familiar, pressing into his shoulder blades. The energy they gave off was familiar, too. The power that Hope gave off was unmistakable. He'd know her anywhere. He felt her even when they were far apart. But right now he was so trapped in his worry for his husband, Hope was the farthest thing from his senses. Until she touched him. 

Caitlin pulled gently away, wiping at her face with a heavy breath that made her shoulders slump when all the air came out. She gave him a small smile. “I'm going to go see if the blood results are back.” She reached forward and smoothed out his shirt a moment, where she'd cried silently. Then turned and walked away. He just let her, silently watching as she disappeared back into the medlab where Cisco's still form awaited her.

Hope's forehead met his spine a moment later. “I'm so sorry, Harrison.” She whispered gently. “I wish I could take away your pain. I can feel it... engulfing you.” She sighed, hands dragging down his back to rest feather soft just above his hips. 

Sometimes, he felt out of place, being touched this way by anyone other than Ramon. But he couldn't deny the pull he had to Hope. There was nothing intimate about that pull. More like a constant search for comfort between them. As though just being near each other was a cure to all spiritual ailments. Explaining that to Cisco at the beginning had been difficult. Shit, everything with Hope when she'd become human had been difficult. But now, things just were what they were. Even Ramon seemed at ease with her being... whatever she was to Harry. 

“He's afraid.” Harry found himself saying quietly, closing his eyes. He couldn't begin to explain how he knew it. But it was as real a truth to him as the fact that human beings couldn't live without oxygen and there was no force in existence that could stop him from saving Cisco Ramon, one way or another. He reached his hands up and dragged his palms and digits over his face in exhaustion. He'd felt a pulling tiredness since Ramon had ended up this way, like some part of Harry was instinctively trying to heal Cisco continuously but it just didn't know exactly what part to focus on. So that part of Harry that healed chose to reach all of Ramon. He could have stopped it, saved his energy, but... 

“Coster may be blocking me from figuring this out,” Hope's voice slid through his thoughts and he dropped his hands, feeling her move in front of him, her smaller hands gripping both of his then. “But what if...” she was searching his face, her brows furrowed, intense thoughts passing through her eyes. Harry narrowed his gaze, just watching. “What if you did?”

“Me.” Harry said flatly. “Caitlin can't even figure this out.” He growled a little, not because he was angry at Snow. He knew she was doing everything she possibly could to help Ramon. But the fact that she couldn't figure it out didn't mean anything good for anyone. Hope shook her head and stepped into him, coming nearly flush with his torso, both hands coming up and gripping his face. 

“I can show you the way to Cisco, but I can't get you there. No one can. You're the only person alive who has a bonded connection with him. Maybe you can use that to get around this.” She was staring at him firmly, “Coster has blocked me entirely. But through me, with my power, you can go where I can't.”

“Go... go where?” He asked softly, feeling strangely subdued and on edge at the same time. It was then he felt Axiom at his side, pressing against his leg. 

_Inside._ Both Harry and Hope froze, and she dropped her hands, looking down at Axiom. Harry looked down as well, meeting the dog's far too intelligent gaze. The pit bull wagged his tail once. _Inside Cisco Ramon._ Harry swallowed, slowly averting his gaze to Hope. “Please tell me you heard that.” He stated plainly. Hope's smile was all the answer she gave. Harry swallowed lightly, stepping back a little and then crouching before the dog, meeting his gaze face to face. “Did you just...” He didn't finish the sentence. Axiom sat down and wagged his tail. “Of course you did.”

All along Harry had known there was something peculiar about the dog. Obviously, this wasn't what he'd imagined. But okay... just... okay. 

“You're sha.” Hope said then, still smiling, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. He reached out instinctively, smoothing a hand over the dog's soft head. 

“A what?” He asked her, but didn't look away from Axiom. 

_I protect. You are family. My family. I will help. Go inside, we save Cisco Ramon._ Axiom's voice was a strange, warm and whispering thing. Like a dozen voices in tandem, but not quite in synch. _But you are tired. You need sleep. I will watch._

Harry stood up, feeling... fuck. Overwhelmed. He clenched his jaw a little. “I have no idea what's going on right now.” he grated out. And he felt even more exhausted at the sentiment.

“Harrison,” Hope said, taking his hand once more, “What's going on is... helping Cisco may have just become far easier, thanks to this sha. But he's right. You're exhausted. You need to sleep. For a little while, anyway. It will give me time to prepare, and talk with Axiom. To... come up with a game plan.” He just looked at her, let out a deep sigh, glanced at Axiom and those damn intelligent eyes. And he moved away. Away from them, away from all the things he couldn't control. Move to Cisco's bedside.

Ramon was just laying there. Breathing easily, unmoving. If it wasn't for his skin littered in strange red veins, Harry would have sworn he was just sleeping. But Cisco wasn't sleeping. He was lost, somehow. Trapped. Suffering. Of course, he had no evidence of that beyond the fact that they knew Coster had done this to him, thanks to Hope's initial assessments. That alone was enough for Harry to know that whatever Cisco was going through, it was bad. Very, very bad. 

He reached forward and slipped his fingers into Cisco's soft hair, the strands giving way in tides of dark. He leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. “I'm going to bring you back, Ramon.” he whispered, his voice shaking, the edges of tears caught in his throat. “Hold on to that.” He kissed his lips gently before pulling away. It ripped apart his already ashen heart not to have Cisco's lips pressing back. He squeezed his eyes shut, tears escaping silently. He shook his head at himself and wiped angrily at them with one hand before sighing. Then he raised both rails on the medical bed one at a time. And gently, without a single further word, he positioned himself on that bed next to Ramon, laying on his side against his husband's still form. He pressed his face into the side of Ramon's, and he closed his eyes.

They told him to sleep, and he would. But he wouldn't leave Cisco. Not now, not ever. He wrapped his arm protectively around his quiet form and let himself relax. Concentrated on the soft sounds of Cisco's breathing. Let their warmth mingle till they were nearly the same temperature. Only then did he fall asleep, but with sorrow strangling his throat, regret weighing his stomach, and heartache breaking his chest...

* * *

_'We were destined to meet. No matter the distance, we return to each other again and again. It's that once in a lifetime connection, the ones that make you feel more alive just sitting next to them; even the silence is comfortable because you feel more complete in their presence. I don't know what it is about him... only that when I look in his eyes, I see a reflection of my soul staring back at me...”_

 

* * *

 _He does not know._ Axiom said to the Watcher woman as they kept a silent vigil over Harry and Cisco for a little while longer. Watching Harry's torment, feeling it was... well, nearly unbearable. Axiom would have given anything to take all this away from him. To bring Cisco back to him. Hope sighed lightly, reaching down and trailing her long nails gently through the hair on top of his head. 

“Neither of them do. But soon.” She looked down at him the same time he looked up. “Soon they'll know everything.” She looked sad. So sad. “And I'm not sure even _their_ bond will survive it.”

With that, she turned and quietly left the room. But Axiom stayed a few moments longer, staring at the two resting forms on the bed. Because he understood why Hope had her doubts about what was to come. But he also knew Harry and Cisco. In all his years, all his lives before, and all his lives to come, he knew there was no one that had been or would be that could survive these uncertain days. No one but Harry and Cisco. 

If anyone could defy the multiverse Herself, and win, it was them.

With that thought, he stood and followed in Hope's wake. They had to prepare for the battles to come. He just had to believe that Cisco was as strong as they all knew he was. Or Harry would be saving a ghost...

* * *

_'The moral of this story is that no matter how much we try, no matter how much we want it... some stories just don't have a happy ending...'_

 

* * *

Their Universe, as he understood it, contained billions of galaxies. Each galaxy contained millions of planets and stars. And in between all of those was light and dust and space and radiation and hydrogen atoms and particle fields and more things far too numerous to list, things Cisco Ramon had grown up reading about and studying more out of curiosity than a real need to know. Because knowing was only half the fun. Experiencing was something he would never get to do. Or at least, that's what he'd always thought. No way he'd ever get to travel to all those places unknown in the farthest edges of existence. 

But then a thing like multiverses turned out to be real. 

And suddenly, all those far off places in their Universe didn't seem nearly as grand anymore, not compared to the weight of wonder in knowing that this Universe didn't hold all the mysteries anymore. There was very little this Universe could surprise him with. Not that he couldn't get a good startle from time to time. But a genuine surprise? That was different. The only existing thing... no, not thing... person who could surprise him anymore was Harrison Wells, Harry.

And Harry hadn't even come from this Universe. 

Just another reason not to find as much shock and awe in the vastness around their tiny little planet in the cosmos. Not that anyone else would find that to be even remotely legitimate. But it made enough sense to him. After all, Harry had been the best surprise he could have ever hoped for.

And Cisco certainly had hoped for a lot of surprises over the years. Funny how the one surprise he'd never wanted was the one he would never let go of now. Now that he knew what it was like to be happy, and whole, and real, and to be with someone who loved him so relentlessly.

Now that he was floating aimlessly out there in the dark, somewhere beyond the reaches of their galaxy, where a stretch of black seemed infinite and cold, making everything about his weightless form seem unreal and empty, and all too wrong. 

He had no memory of how he'd gotten there. No thoughts beyond holding on to something... anything... _Harry._ His anchor.

But this? All of this was wrong.

He knew it. Felt it. Because, duh. People didn't float around outer space and still thought, lived. They died. The froze. Unless they were close to heat source, and then they'd mummify.

People didn't move live and move without spacesuits. 

Wait... was he even moving? Did he even have a body to move with? Was he even real right now? 

There was no sound, not really. But somewhere in his own head, he heard a pop. Like when he yawned too hard and his eardrums protested. Only this pop echoed inside his skull, bounced around the bone plates till it settled into nothing. Till the strange floating spun him painstakingly slow toward...

Black holes formed when massive stars ran out of fuel and died. It was a beautiful death, really, as far as cosmic deaths went. Tragic, and frightening. But hauntingly beautiful. It was what he saw now, played out before him without the grand orchestral music he thought should have accompanied such a show. The dead star's core, unable to resist the crushing force of its own gravity, collapsed. It only took milliseconds. The bare blink of an eye. But the image seared itself into Cisco's brain. One moment there was a bright, brilliant star. The next? There was just a singularity. 

The object itself was so incredibly small that it had literally zero size. But its density was infinite. Years of reading science magazines, studying astronomy books in school, watching documentary upon documentary, and Cisco knew exactly what that density meant.

Knew what it meant for him, even before he felt it.

Anything close enough to the black hole would be doomed to get dragged in... and disappear forever.

He felt the tug on his... whatever he had. He couldn't tell if he had a body or not anymore. But the pull was very, very real. Too real to be a dream. 

He couldn't struggle, couldn't scream. He didn't want to disappear forever! There was too much left to learn, too much left to do! And he had his team, his people, his family and crazy pets! He was happy, dammit! He was whole! He couldn't be torn apart like this! No one would know what happened to him! No one would understand! Harry would be... _oh god, Harry..._

_Harry, where are you?!_

_Harry... help... me..._

_Harry..._

It was all he could think as the singularity pulled the last of him in. 

Into darkness. Into nothing. Into everything he never thought the majesty of space would ever be...

 

* * *

_'I keep fighting the voices in my mind that say I'm not enough. Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up. Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low? Remind once again just who I am because I need to know...'_

 

* * *

“Hello?” Cisco's voice was a strung out, tightly wound thing, bouncing off the walls around him. He recognized this place, he swore he did. But everything about it felt off, unreal... distant. He could hear echoes of voices moving around him, like ghosts swimming in a current he was in the middle of but not a part of. The floating lights in the far too tall ceiling and the over-sized disco ball at the center offered more color than he knew what to do with. Streamers and balloons tangled around his feet, continuously moving around the room of their own volition. He wandered aimlessly, confusion bubbling madly inside of him. Hadn't he literally just been pulled apart by a black hole's tidal waves a moment ago?

Music. 

He could hear music. Or more like the whispers of music. A stage sat at the end of the giant room... no, a gym. A school gym. “What the hell?” He muttered, turning in a slow circle as images began to take real shape around him. Flags on the walls, homecoming signs, a drink table, a drum set and microphones and speakers on the stage, and then people... teenagers, a sea of them. Dancing and jostling into him as suddenly the music exploded and everything became too ecstatic and loud and happy. “Sonofabitch!” He yelped, hands going up to his ears, eyes going wide at the sight of a couple hundred dressed-to-the-nines teenagers at their homecoming dance.

He pushed his way through them, though that didn't take much effort. None of them seemed to notice him. And it was like a path just parted before him, leading him out of the mass of dancing youngsters to a pair of double doors. He burst through them out into a seemingly empty hallway, nearly crashing into a janitor's cart, but stopping when the doors closed behind him and the sounds in the gym became muffled. He caught his breath, hands coming up to his face a moment as he scrubbed at his eyes. 

He was dreaming. All of this? It had to be one crazy ass dream. Because that was his high school gym. That was the homecoming dance he'd gone to with Sarah Dearborne. That was the night he... he dropped his hands, looking down the hall when he heard laughter. 

“Shit.”

Shit shit shit. 

Sarah Dearborne looked exactly the same as she had back then, in her pastel pink and white dress with the red high heel shoes and her hair up in the same knotted braids she'd insisted he not touch because they took 'hours' to perfect. She was up against a locker, and he was up against her. Or younger him, with a dark blue pants suit, matching tie and light blue button up shirt, which was currently being untucked by Sarah's slender digits. One of her hands moved to his hair... ugh short hair... as she kissed him. “No, no no.” He muttered, taking a few steps toward them. 

He'd been so stupid that night. He'd thought he was the luckiest guy on the planet. After all, the Sarah Dearborne wanted to go to homecoming with him?! Not only that, she wanted to get her freak on, with him?! Hell yes! He'd just been a stupid, hot-blooded kid who was thinking with little Ramon instead of his much more capable, bigger brain. 

“You do realize you're watching a memory.” Coster's voice behind him made him cringe and whirl around, nearly tripping on his own feet. The well dressed, perfectly manicured Asian man, in the same trench coat as always, wandered lazily toward him. “Quite the happy one, by the looks of it.”

“Yeah, not so much.” Cisco said flatly, feeling even more confused than before. “Wait...” he motioned at Coster. “What are you-” he stopped himself. “I'm not dreaming. This isn't a dream.” He said, glancing to the image of himself and Sarah, only to see two members of the football team come around the corner and yank him off of Sarah, who smiled knowingly as they pretty much threw the younger Ramon at a locker. “What's happening?” He whispered softly.

“Well... you're about to get the shit beat out of you, by the looks of it.” Coster chuckled, slipping his hands into his pockets. Cisco glanced at him and Coster raised a brow. “Oh, you mean what's happening to now you?” He grinned and shrugged. “I'm just having a little fun. Taking a stroll through some of your wishes, your memories, your knowledge. Maybe testing your limits a little.” He turned completely to face Cisco, his face calm but his eyes sparkling something terrible, something cold that made Cisco swallow and back up a step.

“Why? Seriously, man, why?” he raised his voice a little. “What the hell did I... did we ever do to you?!” He motioned to him with one hand, trying his best to ignore the sounds of his younger self being kicked repeatedly as Sarah laughed. “These experiments of yours, what good do they do?!”

“It's like I said before. You and your husband intrigue me. So does that dog of yours, honestly.” He stepped away then, just pacing. As he did, everything grew quiet around them. Darkness began to move in. The school scenery around them began to shift, change, disappear. 

“Axiom?” Cisco raised a brow. Coster didn't even look at him.

“Also, Harry pissed me off, just a little.” He made a pinching motion with two fingers, chuckling. “Though I suppose many people can say that about him, eh?”

“Stop this.” Cisco demanded, looking around, moving toward him as things grew darker, colder even. “Please stop this!” Coster stopped moving, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. He reached forward and grabbed Cisco by both shoulders surprisingly gentle. But then he leaned forward, just a few breaths away from Cisco's face.

“No.” He said, then smiled. The coldest, most terrible smile Ramon had ever seen. He dropped his hands and stepped back. “I will make you a deal, though.” He stepped back again, the darkness moving in on Cisco as Coster did. “If Harry can figure out how to get to you? I'll let you go.” He raised one finger. “But it has to be him. No one else, Cisco.”

“Why?” Cisco forced himself to ask, mouth dry, hands trembling. Coster nodded a little. Then turned, speaking over his shoulder.

“Because otherwise? I'll kill you.” And with that, he disappeared into the darkness, swallowed whole, leaving Ramon standing alone, shivering from a chill that bored down straight to his marrow. 

“Harry...” he whispered, his voice tightly wound and strung out again, but for entirely different reasons than before. No answer came back. Just the darkness shifting around him, pushing and pulling, till a new scene began to form...

 

* * *

_'Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel...'_

 

* * *

“You want me to put my soul... into his body.” Harry intoned, then shook his head hands gripping his own hips as he clenched his jaws for a moment. The silence around the Cortex was momentarily deafening. “You realize how absurd that sounds? Even for us...” he stated, trying so hard... so goddamn hard... not to lose his temper. Because right now he was floundering. Everything in him was failing more and more to understand what was happening in the world. Because there was science and fact and then there was all this metaphysical bullshit and super intelligent dogs who could talk and Watchers with hard-ons for screwing with people and-

“I know how it sounds.” Hope said gently.

“Do you really?” Harry asked, crossing his arms then. “Because it doesn't just sound absurd. It sounds like complete horse shit.”

“Dad.” Both Maggie and Jesse said at the same time. He didn't look at them, didn't dare. He didn't want to know what was on their faces.

“Harry, I know this is a lot to take right now.” Caitlin spoke up beside him.

“Don't.” He grated out, turning away from everyone. “What you're all saying, what you're all asking...” he shook his head, then brought his hands up, roughly scrubbing his fingers through his hair, “You're asking me to go on... on...” he smacked a hand on the wall in frustration.

“Faith.” Jesse said beside him, her presence somehow materializing not just into his personal bubble but his senses. He hung his head a little, closing his eyes. He could feel her hands on him. One on his back, one on his chest. Like a vice, but so much softer. “I know you, Dad. I know right now your entire foundation has been shaken apart. That none of this is what you know. And you can't stand not understanding.” He opened his eyes, glancing sidelong at her. “But sometimes, things don't need to be quantified. They need to be felt. Sometimes they don't need to be known, they need to be believed.” He felt his entire body just go weak, though not so much physically. “Remember who told me that?” Jesse smiled, warm and sweet, moving closer and hugging him, leaving him no choice but to hug her back. 

“I did.” He stated, though without any strength in his voice.

“That's right, you did. When I was fourteen, I asked you how you knew Mom loved us. You said it was just something you felt. I said I didn't understand. And that's what you told me.”

“I don't know how to do this, Jesse.” he said, letting her go and stepping away enough to look out at everyone watching them. “I don't know how to be anything other than a scientist and... and...”

“A father.” Maggie said then.

“A friend.” Hope said, stepping up beside Maggie.

“A mentor.” Barry said, draping an arm over Iris' shoulders.

“A soldier.” Joe said, uncrossing his arms and pushing away from the wall nearest the door. 

“Our family.” Caitlin said gently. Wally nodded beside her. And Harry couldn't help it. Couldn't stop it from happening. A sob escaped his lungs and he turned away, hands at his hips again. But it seemed no one was about to let him just stand there hurting and feeling alone. Because there was suddenly just this intense bubble of people around him. Of arms holding him and heads pressed against him and hands on his back. He didn't really cry. The tears came out. But it was more like he let all the exhaustion and worry and fear and uncertainty get pulled out of him by all these people he sure as shit didn't deserve. When they finally began to pull away, Caitlin stayed somewhat in front of him. 

“There's one more thing you are. Something you're very good at being.” She smiled brightly at him. “A husband.” She looked into the medlab, where Cisco's form was still laying. “I know none of this makes much sense. But... I also know,” she looked back at him, “If anyone can make this craziness into something real and true, it's you. And if anyone can save Cisco...” She didn't finish. He got the gist. 

He nodded. Firmly. They all believed in him. And they all believed in him and Cisco as a couple. He looked around at all their faces. If they could have faith in him, maybe he could have faith in the things he didn't understand. Because he might not get it all, but he knew he loved all of them. And he knew he loved Cisco. Maybe, in the grand scheme of things, that was more than enough. 

“Alright,” he said, looking at Hope. “What do I do?”

 _Follow me._ It was Axiom who spoke up, then. And the collective reaction of confusion and surprise was... amusing, to say the least.

“Did he just...” Barry began.

“I knew it!” Maggie practically squealed, diving to her knees at his side. Axiom wagged his tail enthusiastically. “I knew you were special.”

 _Maggie, special._ Axiom responded warmly. 

“So there are talking dogs now?” Joe asked, the expression on his face only describable as being 'done' with just about everything. “Sure. Why not?” He looked at Iris when she touched his arm sympathetically. “I need a very strong drink. Or five.”

“He's not a dog. He's sha.” Hope spoke up. “Well, in the form of a dog.”

“What the heck is a sha?” asked Wally, walking up to Axiom and crouching beside him in curiosity. 

Harry didn't really listen to Hope's explanation. He started to, but there was suddenly something tugging at him... a feeling of panic, pulling his attention to Ramon's still form. He found himself moving easily, quick steps taking him directly to Cisco's side. No one followed him. They all had gotten pretty used to him needing to be pretty much tethered to Ramon's side. But twice now, he'd felt this insane panic drag him to Ramon. Twice now, he'd wanted nothing more than to just run his hands through Cisco's emotions and drag the panic away. But all he could do was run his fingers through Ramon's hair. All he could do was lean forward and press his forehead to Cisco's. All he could do... was breathe... and believe. Yeah, he could do that. 

It wasn't something he was good at. Putting stock in things he couldn't see or define or even prove just didn't come easy. It was completely against his nature. But for Cisco Ramon, for the love of his life, he sure as shit would. Because Ramon needed him to.

And he pushed his faith in their love, in their bond, in them, into every tender stroke of Ramon's hair. He thought it with every passing second. He willed Cisco to feel it and believe it as much as he did. As much as everyone else seemed to. Because Harry would do his part, he would fight heaven and earth and death itself. He would follow this confusing as shit plan and throw his own soul into Ramon's body. But Cisco had to do his part, too. He had to hold on. He had to keep fighting whatever it was he was fighting.

Just a little bit longer...

* * *

_'It's not clear why we choose the fire pathway. Where we end is not the way that we had planned. All the spirits gather round like it's our last day. To get across, you know we'll have to raise the sand...'_

 

* * *

_You can't change the world standing still. We're not meant to be bystanders._

_Too many people stay in place, content with change happening without them, over them, through them. They live day to day doing nothing more than commuting for a dollar that they can't take to the grave once life is done with them. They say they do it for the 'good life,' for home, for family. But they lose sight of what all that means when monotony takes form in the mirror, a robot wearing their faces, replacing them. They're gone before they're even dead._

_I never wanted to be that kind of man._

_I wanted to change the world. My world. And I did. In the worst possible way. Or the best. Maybe somewhere in between. Whatever way I changed it, I did it permanently. Arrogant and selfish, I believed I'd done something heroic and magnificent. But I ruined lives. I tore a city apart. I changed everything. I... endangered... my daughter. I spiraled down a path I never could have foretold._

_Learning that there was more than one world, more than one place to change wasn't the revelation it should have been. Because when I found out, change didn't matter to me anymore. It wasn't what I wanted or needed anymore. But it was still what I found..._ with you.

_When I lost my wife, I lost more than just her presence and unending love. Something inside of me died with her. People from my past, from a time that barely registers now, would tell you I wasn't always the man you first met. And certainly not the man you know now. I was younger, yes. But younger in spirit, perhaps. Younger in heart. I aged overnight the day she died. I threw away all hope for future years of happiness and decided that I didn't need it. Didn't want it. I just wanted that change... that thrill. Because I knew I could attain at least that much. A love like I had with... with her? Well... that was beyond me forever. Or so I believed._

_Then you had to exist._

_You and your sarcasm and wit and complete efficiency to annoy the shit out of me. You and your intelligence and strength and far too good of a heart. You and the way you would look at me, the way you would work your way into my thoughts, the way you would just be a constant presence in every damn day that I not only looked forward to, but realized I needed. You just had to be..._ you.

 _Before I realized it happened, you changed my life. You changed_ me. _I was gone before I knew I could even fall. And knowing that you wanted me, too? That you felt the same? Do you have any idea how miraculous that was? How goddamn unreal that felt to me? Do you have any idea how much instinct told me to fight it? Because I... I didn't want to do to you what I'd done to every wonderful thing in my life, everything I had never deserved and rotted away. But you wouldn't let me off the hook that easy._

_I'm so grateful you didn't._

_You fought for me._

_… I'd never had that before..._

_Do you remember the day on the roof of the labs, when you practically kissed me into submission, angry because I couldn't understand why me being hurt would bother you so much? It was the first time we told each other we love each other. It was the moment I knew that even if we didn't last, I would never, ever, stop fighting for you._

_So you better be listening to me, Ramon. You better be hearing me right now. Because I'm going to find a way to get to you. I'm going to bring you back. I will tear hell and Coster and whatever else I have to apart to get you home. Because I may have made some changes in my time. But you changed everything for the better. And I can't..._ I won't... _I will never live in a world where you don't exist. I will not live a life where you and I are not together._

 _You told me once that this thing with us..._ that this is how it's supposed to be. 

_So don't you dare give up now._

_I'm coming, Ramon._

_Just hold on to us._

_Never let go..._

* * *

'And so you see I have come to doubt all that I once held as true. I stand alone without beliefs. The only truth I know is you...'

**Author's Note:**

> (To be continued...)


End file.
